Our modern society is in dire need of an unifying mythology. This is an unique position to find ourselves in; until Nietzsche declared God to be dead with an authority yet to be seriously challenged in philosophical circles, peoples and cultures around the world formed various stories and gods to explain the workings of the world around us, and to illustrate the foibles and follies as well as the compassion and kindness inherent in human nature. The gods came to instruct, not merely to explain or condemn. However, as we developed, our gods became antiquated, and their instructions became out-of-touch, which made their explanations ludicrous, and therefore their condemnations irrelevant, at best. For all but the most fundamentalist, Physics and Biology have supplemented, if not completely supplanted, Religion in its capacity of explaining the trappings of nature. Psychology has provided a similar effect -- and perhaps affect -- to Religion in the arena of explanations of human nature. Yet just as mankind's desire for the ritual of religion has not seemed to vanish because of our disbelief in the gods, neither has our desire for their stories diminished because of our widespread atheism. 
At the same time as the gods began to be subjects to the worms of the ground, new and exciting developments began to occur in the many fields of arts & entertainment. As often as not, these revolutions were caused by, correlated to, or coincided with parallel developments in science. Recorded music, film, comic books, and television have transformed how what was once our oral tradition is handed down to us. And while the repercussions of the Internet on storytelling has yet to be completely felt, there is a dearth of truly larger than life entities whose very being is relevant to our everyday life, not to mention helping to instruct, explain and, yes, even condemn our behavior. This is not to say that these mediums have not made the effort. From Superman to Star Wars, from Wagner's Ring Cycle to the World Wide Web, we find artists and storytellers aspiring to take their place in the now-vacant pantheon. Yet the cry continues to issue from the masses: to provide them with something somehow larger than life. Many have begun to feel their cries are in vain.
But, Lo! The Call of the Masses is Answered! A new age of hope is already upon us! For there exists in our own fair lands someone who answers. A voice crying in the wilderness, proclaiming the good news of fantastical intergalactic pirates bent on destruction, stuck on our pitiful, desolate rock, desperate to escape; yet at least mildly amused with our weakness and ignorance, mildly placated with our glorious intoxicants, and mildly appreciative of our mindless submission. A voice answering our cry with their own, which is to “...give the people what they want...the senseless slaughter of the gutter slime...because when your life ain't shit, you ain't got much to lose...”
For nearly 25 years the artists at Slave Pit, the high priests of GWAR, have “left their bloody mark all over this town.” Their peculiar brand of “multi-platform, multi-media” commentary comes closest to replicating the numerous ways that our old time religions used to pass on their morality plays. None of the modern media have been left untouched by Slave Pit. And as new forms develop, you can count on Slave Pit to inject the mythos of GWAR into each and every one. Fueled by crack-cocaine and fresh souls for the World Maggot, they persevere in decimating our population, decapitating our leaders, and enslaving all who remain.
But in all seriousness, Slave Pit has been providing our post-modern culture with a truly post-modern mythology since their inception. Their modest studio space in Antarctica, er, 
Manchester quietly hums with subversive activity still. Starting in an age when music videos were usually the apotheosis of expression for musical groups, GWAR began with bigger targets in their sights. Over their career they have been responsible for music, paintings, illustrations, sculptures, films, comics, and theatrical performances; appeared in TV, film and video games; showcased their artistry in smoky bars and high-class galleries; and influenced Brendan Small and Lordi alike.
Richmond has in recent years become an increasingly meta-town. While the metropolitan population of Richmond has grown to 1.3 million people, much of what we speak of when we talk about Richmond is the underground culture we have created here -- one that largely serves as a foil to the “redneck, backwoods, hick town” gentrified Richmond that we all despise. And amid the multitude of temporal touchstones of our culture here, few carry the weight that GWAR carries. It would not be hyperbolic to say they are as intrinsic to Richmond as Patrick Henry or Jefferson Davis, as white flight or corrupt council members, as Church Hill or the James River. I recently had the chance to speak with Dave Brockie, and again with Bob Gorman and Matt Maguire of Slave Pit about all things GWAR in anticipation of their May 30th show and their upcoming 25th anniversary. As a bonus, I was lucky to have my life spared by the feared Oderus Urungus, who vouchsafed my life on the condition I relay his dread requests to the “human filth” residing in RVA.
During 25 years, most bands come and go. Any music fan, especially when his tastes run towards the underground, will find no problem recalling an encyclopedic list of bands that have come and gone from their own hometown. RVA is certainly no exception. This transience is a stark contrast to the “road kings” of GWAR. I asked Matt Maguire nearly two and a half years ago what he thought of the current scene, and he told me, “They'll fall off. And we'll still be doing this.” His remarks become only more appropriate with each year. While current art trends seem to nudge ever closer to a complete and total emulation of their style, they remain the first, the best, and the most cutting-edge of them all.
When a highfalutin' music critic tells me damn near anything about a band's “artistic merit” I want to shit. When any other band professes to have the most exciting show in Rock and Roll, I either giggle or cringe, depending on their meager talents. But GWAR has earned the right to their bravado. Who else will stand up to presidents, terrorists, and talk show hosts? Who will kill indiscriminately? Who will dump hundreds of gallons of blood, urine and semen onto the huddled masses?
The ability to seriously call GWAR the best show in rock and roll comes with a hefty price. “Probably the most physically demanding thing is actually doing the show...you're wearing 60 pounds of bloody latex, and I'm trying to bellow lyrics and fight monsters, and these guys are running around, going crazy backstage, jumping in and out of costumes, taking care of exploding compressors, flailing spew lines, and keeping the crowd under control” Dave Brockie notes. Bob Gorman finds it difficult to keep a normal life. “When we were younger, doing that [GWAR] and just doing that was fine. But as you get older, you know, health care...shit that normal people [have], you know, we don't have any of that and, you know, you start thinking about that more.” He also finds that his “love of live music has been crushed” from his years in GWAR. “We spend seven months out of the year, on a good year, in clubs. When I get home people are like 'Oh, there's this crazy kid band'...I don't have it in me. We'll have to stop touring for a couple of years before the desire to go in a hot, steamy club and be surrounded by people comes back” Dave does find he is able to make an exception for First Friday, although it isn't for the art or the bands as much as “watching these chicks walk around in their little sundresses.”
The time and effort Slave Pit puts into GWAR is nearly superhuman, and nearly as strenuous as the physical shows. “GWAR takes up so much of our time. It takes so much time just to do the things we're getting paid to do right now...build a new show, make a new album,
and get ready to go on the road again,” Dave opines. “We're pretty much doomed to support GWAR no matter what, to the exclusion of having anything else going on in our lives, and that includes relationships...when you are enslaved by GWAR you truly are enslaved by GWAR.” There's clearly a reason their 
production company is called Slave Pit, Inc. Forty hours a week seems to be a bare minimum with these guys, if not more. Still, all manage to find some little amount of time to pursue their own individual artistic interests. Dave does custom paintings, drawings, and tattoo designs, though he's no longer accepting requests due to a huge backlog. Matt does some movie and theatre work, and Bob welds and works on bikes. “When you put all of your thought and creative juices into [GWAR], you get drained...you wanna get home, drink a beer and watch a monster movie,” Bob says.
GWAR has seen plenty of changes over the years. The early years were chaotic, as Slave Pit had what they say were too many artists, each thinking their ideas were best. Things were rarely done the same way twice. Perhaps their fingers were in a few too many pies, with the artists trying to build costumes, make movies and comic books, and write music all at the same time; the music quickly devolved into pop-punk slapstick, and the members began to take notice that the quality of the other projects was beginning to slip. Around 2000, the decision was made to make a “leaner, meaner” GWAR, to focus on what they did best and what was best received by their fans. They began to realize that time and money were much more precious commodities. As Bob says, “the old GWAR died in 2000” Of course, you can't please all the fans. An email they have posted in their office is telling:
i have been a gwar fan for 10years and i just wanted to say the new album sux donkey dick. i have loved every one of gwar's cd's. Violence has arrived but not gwar.O h by the way where are al the other band members. you have lost your funny edge. well at least i got one new gwar album or is it DBX?
sad long term fan
However the future still holds much possibility. Slave Pit owns all their intellectual property, and soon will have the rights to their entire back catalogue. As Dave explained, any of the non-band characters can be folded back in at any time they please. Fans will be delighted to know of the return of Sleazy P. Martini this fall. There is talk of a GWAR video game, an online interactive GWAR world a la World of Warcraft or Second Life, and the online return of Slave Pit funnies. While the age of direct to video releases with every album is over, GWAR acknowledges the possibility of more happening in the future, although they would rather have the budget to do it for a theartical release. They still would like to do a Broadway show. A coffeetable book should be coming in 2009. And then there are projects so super-secret that they cannot be mentioned. In the meantime, Oderus Urungus will be hosting the Metal Hammer Golden Gods Awards in London, “which is like the Emmys of metal...I'm gonna announce that GWAR wins in every one!” Of interest to Richmonders, our own Municipal Waste is nominated for best underground band, and GWAR urges you to vote for them on the Metal Hammer website. In short, GWAR is confident that their efforts will bring them the recognition and respect they deserve, although Dave acknowledges perhaps things could have been easier “if I hadn't gone through, you know, the last twenty-three years with my cock hanging out, but I felt it was important.”
Slave Pit is open about the influence Richmond has on its origins. Bob credits Richmond's fertility to the abundance of bands, cheap warehouse space, and the constant supply of VCU grads and dropouts. They love playing with “straight up metal bands” and find great pleasure that RVA is full of them. “People are like 'Richmond? What the, what the hell? Why do so many great bands come out of this town?'” Dave says. However, don't question who is the most “Richmond” of them all. “We're the ultimate Richmond band,” Dave explains, “a bunch of frustrated and failed artists in their own weird little world they've created for themselves - that's very Richmond. GWAR couldn't have happened anywhere else.”
Finally, “Oderus would like to take this opportunity to announce to the people of Richmond, the backwater, redneck, hick town that it is, that he is supporting Dirtwoman's candidacy for mayor, and if Dirtwoman is elected as the mayor, I will let Dirtwoman suck my cuttlefish in Shafer Court for everyone to see...I'm backing Donnie Corker, a.k.a. Dirtwoman, I'm head of Sexcurity for his campaign...I'm taking this opportunity to urge the people of Richmond to vote for Dirtwoman, finally get somebody competent in the office of the mayor, and Oderus will be there as his Minister of Sexual Affairs, to distribute AIDS and free crack to anyone who dares to vote for him.”
GWAR urges you to vote for Municipal Waste for best underground band in the Metal Hammer Golden Gods Awards. GWAR also urges you to visit their website: www.gwar.net
The Artists of Slave Pit, Inc. urge you to also visit their website: www.slavepitinc.com, and to visit the personal websites of the artists which can be found by following links from the Slave Pit site.
GWAR is offering half-off admission to anyone who brings them the head of Papa Ukrop or Daddy Loving to their show at The National, May 30th
Browning Keister would like to thank Dave Brockie, Bob Gorman and Matt Maguire for taking time out of their busy schedule for this interview, and all of the artists of Slave Pit for all their hard work entertaining us maggots.
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